The subject of sugar baby relationships is incredibly frowned upon by the public and many are ashamed to admit they have partaken in such relationships.
The “sugar community” has be likened to prostitution, sex work and gold digging but local students have confessed what it is really like to be a sugar baby. Interestingly, out of the three young women interviewed, who wish to remain anonymous, none of them had ever met up with a “sugar daddy” for cash.
Instead, they advised that the type of relationship they had with men ranged from just talking about their day online to even insulting them. Of course, they also recognised that most of the time, men on the apps would be looking for hotel meets or some form of sexual gratification, so they had to put a lot of time and effort in to filter this out.
Hull Live interviewed three local students about their experiences – Sugar baby A, B and C. They are no longer involved in the sugar baby industry but all experienced this while studying for their degrees.
They told Hull Live how easy it was to make money and whether they faced any dangers while participating in these types of relationships. Here is what they had to say:
What made you join a sugar daddy website in the first place?
Sugar Baby A: “I had heard from a friend that she received £100 from a man on one of these sites, purely because she mentioned she was window shopping and the man wanted to treat her. She had only been chatting to him for about 20 minutes and he had not been sexual once.
“I support those that make money from OnlyFans and sex work but had no desire to get involved with any of that. I worked full time throughout uni and had no intention of quitting my job or anything but as a student, you do have to miss out on a lot of luxuries that you would enjoy at home.”
Sugar Baby B: “The desperation for money really. It seems like becoming a sugar baby is an easy solution and you hear of many people who are successful with them! Especially seeing stories online of people able to buy designer items and go on holiday etc, it’s really appealing.”
Sugar Baby C: “I was struggling for money at university and already had two jobs! I needed a way to make money quickly with flexible hours.”
How easy was it to make money and did it feel wrong?
Sugar Baby A: “For how far I was willing to go as a sugar baby, which was not far at all, it was very difficult to make money. You would maybe get three men out of 100 people that would message you that were happy to engage in something that wasn’t sexual.
“I had to foster those relationships a lot and speak to these men everyday and let them get to know me before they sent me money. The first time I received money though, I was very lucky, as a man just messaged me out of the blue asking for my PayPal email address.
“I gave it to him and instantly received £100, no strings attached. He got in touch maybe a month later asking how I was and asked me if I wanted more money and then I received another £100.
“Part of me knew it was really sketchy. I didn’t feel bad taking the money, as the men joined the site for the purpose of giving young women money. However, I was worried about what people would think of me if they found out what I was doing.”
Sugar Baby B: “It was hard to make money as you have to dedicate time and energy to conversations and getting to know someone or pretending to care about them as a person, when really you just want their money.
“It did feel morally wrong at times but then also it’s older men with a lot of money, looking for someone younger who wants money. So, I feel it’s expected that it’s never really going to be a genuine connection.”
Sugar Baby C: “It was so so easy, I remember making £800 once in around 10 minutes and just being blown away by it. It definitely did feel wrong and I constantly had to remind myself it was only a short term money fix but the ease of the process was addictive!”
What were the power dynamics like in the relationships you made?
Sugar Baby A: “I know that there is a lot of debate over who is exploiting who in these situations. The women are painted as gold diggers and manipulative and the men are seen as viewing women as a commodity and paying for control over them.
“In my experience, the sugar Daddies were very up front about exactly what they were looking for and what they didn’t want to happen. Some had very demanding jobs and couldn’t nurture a conventional relationship, so would rather pay a young woman to keep them company and meet their emotional needs.
“Others clearly did not see women as people and wanted a real life doll to enact their fantasies, which I was not at all on board with. As long as both parties are honest and set expectations, the power dynamics can be fairly balanced.”
Sugar Baby B: “I never really felt in charge. You could find some people on there who wanted you to dominate them for their money but at the end of the day, whether they decide to give you the money or not is really in their power and control!”
Sugar Baby C: “I was always in charge. I found that most men wanted me to humiliate them and use them for their money and as someone who is naturally dominant, I found this very easy and almost enjoyable.”
What was the most wild thing a sugar daddy wanted in exchange for cash?
Sugar Baby A: “I think someone asked me if I could pretend he was a chair once? Not in the way you’d think either.
“He said he wanted to pose in the middle of the room and have me completely ignore him like he was part of the furniture. I did not take him up on the offer!”
Sugar Baby B: “I never really had any absurd messages but someone once asked to film me having sex with them as a couple and share it amongst their “group”, as they usually had sex tapes bought from them. I blocked him immediately.”
Sugar Baby C: “Some very bizarre things were requested such as a video of myself ‘****ing’ myself off, wearing a strap on whilst making sex noises – I obviously did not do this.”
Are you still a sugar baby, and if not, how long were you one?
Sugar Baby A: “I am no longer a sugar baby and was only on the sites for a few months. There was a point where it was emotionally exhausting and I decided it wasn’t the person I wanted to be.
“Sure it is an easy way to make some money but there is usually a bigger price to pay. I didn’t like being constantly disrespected everyday and putting up with so many creeps.”
Sugar Baby B: “Not anymore, I was one on and off for a few years. Although, I’m sure my profile is still knocking about somewhere!”
Sugar Baby C: “Not any more! I stopped around 3 years ago as I had one man that begin obsessing over me and stalking my social media which I found very distressing.
“My sugar baby journey only lasted a year and I doubt I will ever go back to it!”